Naruto:Harass of Ninja
by ZeldaCourage
Summary: One married couple, one demonic babysitter, one freeloading cousin, one convenience store clerk, two kids and two on the way, all living in one three-bedroom house. Prepare for utter chaos.
1. Prologue

....Ok... Hi. I'll have you know, I never intended to post a story on here. I mean, I don't let my mom read my stories, let alone the freaking WORLD! It was my sister's idea, she loved this story so much... I don't know why. This is far from my first and best story ever written. I'll warn you, this story has many weird/crack/impossible couples that are used/mentioned. No hatin', please... And I wrote this and the first chapter when I was thirteen, so go easy on me... I Don't own Naruto, Sasuke, or anyone!....

Naruto: Harass of Ninja  
_Six years after Naruto Shippuden..._

Prologue: Introductions... Sorta...

Sasuke ran as fast as he could to catch Naruto on one of his nightly jogs through Konoha. Sasuke had the running style of a little girl and flailed his arms as if he were attempting to take off and fly. He eventually saw the shadow of a human, ran (and flailed) at full speed, and tackled the shadow to the ground. "What the-!?" the shadow, Naruto, shouted and shoved Sasuke off of him. He stood up and glared down at him. "What was that for!?"  
"You!" Sasuke shouted and got to his feet. He pointed his index finger at Naruto. "What is the matter with you!?"  
"What is the matter with me? You're the one who just tackled me in the middle of my very important midnight jog," Naruto said as he took out his earphones.  
"You cheated on me!" Sasuke continued to point at Naruto.  
"What!?"  
"With Temari!"  
Naruto looked around. "Who told you?"  
"You insensitive bastard!" Sasuke yelled.  
"I said 'who told you!?' "  
"Her brother!"  
"...Which one?"  
"The raging alcoholic."  
"...Which one?"  
"The married one with the one and a half kids?"  
"Oh... Wait, one and a half kids? How can you have one and a half kids?"  
"Well, his wife's pregnant, that'd mean they had half a kid, right?"  
"No! That means they have 'one on the way!'"  
"Whatever. So-"  
"Wait, she's pregnant?"  
"Well, duh. Has been for at least... two months now."  
"...How do you know this? Have you been cheating on me as well?"  
"No, you idiot! Her husband's my best friend!"  
"No way... Really?"  
"Of course! God, we went out for a year, and you don't know who my best friend is?"  
"Nope."  
"That question was not meant to be answered!!!"  
"Oh, geez..."

"So, why are we standing here, in the middle of the street, talking about random shit at eleven P.M.?"  
"I don't remember," Sasuke shrugged. "Let's go home."  
"OK!" Then they skipped home and lived happily ever after... NOT! Naruto sighed inwardly. Sasuke had forgotten about him having an affair. Sasuke had always been so forgetful.

.... Sorry about not indenting, it was probably confusing. I don't know why, but the document manager thing doesn't register my indents....


	2. An Unexpected Invite

....Ok, this is chapter one. I don't own any characters except Jeffi, Setsuka, Hexa, Lori, and Fang.

Chapter One: An Unexpected Invite

Gaara barely managed to dodge the attacks Setsuka Kokoro threw at him, much less attack her. She was faster than him and had a sword. A really big sword. That was cheating, right? She eventually tackled him and started punching him in the face. There was nothing he could do about it. He secretly enjoyed it. He reminded himself not to let it slip to his spouse.  
"You - stupid - bastard - does that hurt?" Setsuka asked between painful, nose-breaking punches. She had one knee on either side of his waist and a hold on his hair. Gaara didn't know if that was a question he was supposed to answer. He opened his mouth to, when someone kicked Setsuka in the rib cage. She released his hair to hold the injured spot. She was then thrown from him by his savior, who turned out to be-- _DUN DUN DUUUUN_-- Hinata Hyuuga. Hinata jumped on top Setsuka and started to continuously punch _her_ in the face.  
"Stay - away - from - him - YOU CRAZY RED-EYED FREAK!!!" Hinata practically shouted between painful-looking punches. This was strange. Hinata and Setsuka are best friends.  
Gaara, amazingly, stood up and started to run away. He stopped in his tracks when he heard a familiar voice shout, "Gaara! Gaara, wake up!" It was Hinata. He whirled around and the two girls were gone. Then what felt like an earthquake started up, then it all went black for Gaara.

+-+-+-+

Gaara opened his eyes to the present day Setsuka and Hinata awakening him from his nap on the couch. They looked a little irritated and Setsuka was shaking him. She stopped when he finally awoke. Setsuka's shoulder length, silver spiky hair wasn't failing to be in her face. Gaara never remembered being able to see her eyes. She was dressed a little too skank-like for Gaara's taste. If he were her father that is. Hm. Who was her father? Hinata's hair was the same as it usually was: Long, navy, straight. At least he could see her eyes, even if he always found them creepy. They were a little mysterious, being white and all. Then he remembered his odd dream. "Guys! I had the strangest dream! You were in it and you..." Gaara stopped at the second 'you,' staring at Hinata. _God, she was hot in that dream_. He reached up, put his hands around Hinata's head, and brought her down for a nice, big, sloppy kiss.  
"Ugh," Setsuka rolled her blood-red eyes and walked off.  
"Gaara," Hinata interrupted the kiss, "There's a dinner party we have to be at in half an hour. Get up, get dressed, shave, and, for God's sake, pop a Tic-Tac in there, or something." She walked off also.  
Gaara put a hand over his heart. "Ow," he said silently before rolling off the couch and onto the hardwood floor. _Thud!_  
In the kitchen, Hinata was trying to think of something she could make in half an hour. She didn't know that there was a dinner party planned until five and a half minutes ago, when Sasuke called. He had forgotten to invite her and Gaara earlier. _And_ he expected her to come up with something for them to eat in half an hour. _And_, she hated to admit it, but Hinata was a terrible cook! Neji interrupted her thoughts by walking into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a Triforce tank-top and boxers. She watched him walk up and open the fridge, scratching himself the entire time. He took out a gallon of milk and started drinking its contents.  
"Hey, Neji," Hinata sighed in frustration as she leaned on the counter. "You just getting up?" He nodded, still chugging the milk. She stared at him in disbelief. Was he really going to drink the whole thing? He eventually gasped for air, wiping access milk from his mouth. "Did you just drink that entire thing?" Neji nodded, throwing the container in the trash. "You idiot! I just bought that!" He shrugged and exited the room. Hinata grinded her teeth in anger, "How easy do you people think it is to feed these freeloading people!?"  
"Mommy?" She looked down to see Jeffi, her five-year-old son. He had lavender eyes, like hers, and navy blue spiky hair that parted in the same spot as Gaara's. He was one cute little guy, even if he did have a problem growing eyebrows.  
"Oh, I don't mean, you, Jeffi," she said, running her fingers through his hair, "I mean those lazy people we are forced to call family who claim that they can't get a job." She glared at the kitchen door, hoping Neji heard her.  
"Do you mean Uncle Neji?"  
"Yes."  
"Oh, OK." Jeffi walked to and opened the fridge. "Where's the milk?" he asked searching through the fridge.  
"Your 'Uncle' just downed it in thirty seconds."  
"Not again!" He stomped off to kill Neji. The tyke's strong for his age; he even spars with his babysitter, Setsuka, sometimes.  
Gaara had made it to the bathroom, finally. He turned on his electric shaver and heard Hinata, his wife of five years, shout, "And when I say 'shave,' I don't mean your eyebrows!"  
"I can't grow eyebrows!" Gaara shouted back.

"What was that?"  
"I-I knew that!"  
Setsuka strolled into the kitchen, looking as innocent as she possibly could, which was hard, especially if you're a demon host with blood-red eyes and really long furry ears. "Hey, Hinata?"  
"What?" said Byakugan user asked, searching through a cupboard.  
"Would you mind if I take Jeffi with me to Giniro tonight?"  
"Yeah, sure."  
"Umm, are you sure you're sure? It's like, a couple hundred miles away, and I'm wanted as a convict there, and-"  
"I married a psychopathic killing machine who used to be the host of a tailed beast."  
"Hey!" Gaara stepped out of the bathroom, his red, spiky, shoulder-legnth hair combed back as much as he could. "That's EX psychopathic killing machine!"  
"Whatever." Hinata rolled her eyes. "Anyway," she looked back at Setsuka, "You've been there for us ever since Jeffi was born, before that even. I don't care if you have a thousand of those... Elemental Demons sealed inside you, I trust you. You've doubted yourself and others for years," Hinata said, turning back to the cupboard.  
"Oh... I just... you know..." Setsuka looked down and blushed. Hinata was right.  
"I know that you want to visit your mother's and grandparents' graves. And you want to bring your student along." Setsuka winced.  
"My-my-my s-student? Je-Jeffi's not my student! I d-don't know what you're talking about," Setsuka stuttered, nervous.  
"Oh, give it a rest. I heard Jeffi call you sensei."  
"Oh, Hinata! I'm sorry! I know you didn't really want Jeffi to-"  
"I said give it a rest! I don't care anymore. He looks up to you. He respects you as a person and as a ninja."  
"Oh... I'm sorry." She looked back up at Hinata and smiled. "I'll just go and get my stuff ready." She turned to leave, but Hinata grabbed her shoulder. "Hm?"  
"Hey, what's your middle name?" Hinata asked.  
"Huh? Well, that's kinda random. It's, uh, Madoushi." Hinata nodded. "Yours?"  
"Tsuki."  
"Um... Why do you ask?"  
"Oh. No reason." She smiled, more like a smirk. An evil-looking smirk.  
"Uh, yeah. I'll just go get my stuff...Yeah." Setsuka slipped out of the kitchen.  
"Madoushi of the Desert..." Hinata whispered to herself. Gaara came into the kitchen this time, holding two ties up to his neck, trying to decide which to wear. He went with the 'DK' one.  
"Is this a formal dinner party, or a casual one?" he asked.  
"I-uh-I don't know," Hinata said, holding a box to her chest. Gaara noticed it.  
"What's in the box?"  
"Our dinner."  
"...In a box?"  
"Yep."  
"What is it?"  
"G-granola bars..."  
"Granola bars?"  
"You try to come up with something in," she looked at her invisible watch, "fifteen minutes."  
"We have to be at Sasuke's in fifteen minutes?!"  
"Yes, what's the problem?"  
"He lives on the other side of the village!"  
"He-he does? I thought he lived two blocks from here."  
"Yeah, two years ago!"  
"Oh... Ahaha..." Hinata rubbed the back of her head and blushed. "H-how could I forget?" she laughed nervously.  
"...You're acting out of character."  
"S-sorry!"  
"That's more like it!" He looked her up and down. "You ready like that?"  
"Like what?"  
"I'm wearing a nice suit and stuff, and you're dressed like some..." She was giving him a death glare. "On second thought, let's get going, my beautiful, sexy, hot, loving-"  
"Don't push it."  
In the living room, Setsuka plopped down on the couch next to Neji, who still hadn't put any pants on. She grabbed the remote and changed the channel. "Hey!" Neji glared at her. "I was watching that!"  
"So? I'm watching this." Setsuka flips the channel again to _Lifetime_. Some Nora Roberts book/movie is on. "I love this movie."  
"That's the gayest movie I've ever seen," Neji grunted.  
"Well, I happen to like this movie." Setsuka snorted.  
"You bastard!" someone shouted and ran into the room. It was Jeffi. He kicked Neji hard in the shin.  
"Ow! Damn it! Why you little-!" Neji jumped up and down in pain.  
"Take that!" Jeffi said before sitting on the other side of Setsuka. He stuck his tongue out at Neji.  
Neji eventually sat back down and glared at Setsuka. "Did you teach him that word?"  
"Uhh... Aha..." She smiled nervously, and then looked at Jeffi. "Jeffi, don't you think we should get going before sundown?"  
"Yeah!" Jeffi said enthusiastically. "Then you can teach me that cool Jutsu, and-" Setsuka covered his mouth with her gloved hand. Neji narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her.  
"That cool Jutsu?"  
"Umm... Uhh... Eh... ALRIGHT! I'm Jeffi's sensei. He's my student. There. Everyone happy now?" Everyone was in that room, even Temari. She'd just gotten home from work as a convenience store clerk.  
"YOU'RE WHAT!?!" Gaara shouted. "I was supposed to be the one to teach _my_ son! Not his skank of a babysitter!"  
"Hey! That was just rude!" Setsuka said, now standing up and in Gaara's face. This required her standing on her toes.  
"Is this what you guys do when I'm not here? Make your own soap opera?" Temari asked before sitting down to watch the show.  
"Gaara, please. You are overreacting," Hinata said, putting a hand on her husband's shoulder.  
Jeffi tugged on his daddy's shirt. Gaara looked down at him. "Daddy, it's OK. You can still train me..." Everyone was looking at Jeffi and Gaara. Setsuka took the opportunity and cupped her hands together to teleport in a puff of grey smoke. Jeffi looked back, then to Gaara. "S-sorry, daddy," he said before teleporting away himself. It was all silent for a couple seconds. Then, when Temari stood, all eyes were on her.

"Well, that was freaky and dramatic and all that stuff, but I really gotta take a shit. So, if you'd excuse me..." she said pushing her way through Gaara and Hinata.  
"Well," Hinata said, "I think we should get going. Sasuke _does_ live on the other side of the village. We_ are _walking there. We _do_ have to be there in twelve minutes. I _am_-"  
"Would you cut that out!?" Gaara shouted before storming out of the house.  
"Hehe, sorry!" Hinata followed him. The door closed slowly behind them. Neji kicked it, stubbed his toe, and swore aloud.  
Outside, Jeffi and Setsuka watched in silence as Hinata and Gaara walk down the street, bickering about out-of-character-ness. Setsuka sighed._ Why the Hell don't they have a car?_ she thought. "Setsuka-Sensei?" Setsuka looked down to him, "D-do you think th-this is right?" Jeffi asked innocently. "Shouldn't we take the training trip later?"  
Setsuka thought about this for a second... Should they go later, when everyone's not mad at them? Nah! "No."  
"Why? Everyone's angry..."  
"Because we already made plans to take Lori with us."  
"Lori?" Jeffi made a face. "But she's a girl!" he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
"Hey, ain't I a girl?" Jeffi nodded. "Then what's the big deal with Lori?"  
"She's A GIRL!!!" Jeffi shouted. Setsuka sweat dropped. "What's there to explain?"  
"You two got along perfectly when we trained the other day."  
"So?" He crossed his arms over his chest.  
"SO! So, you two are always together at the academy."  
"So?"  
"SO!!! I already made the plans! Kurenai's expecting me to pick up Lori today." And, with that, she leapt off onto another roof and continued to run and hop along them. Jeffi sighed dramatically before following.

Setsuka dropped down on the grass of Kurenai's front yard. Jeffi landed beside her on his face. "Oww..." he said. Setsuka shook her head and knocked on the door. Kurenai soon answered it.

"Oh, hello Setsuka. You're here for Lori, right?" she asked.

Setsuka nodded "So, where is she?"

"She _should_ be outside waiting for you..." The red-eyed ninja looked around her yard. She waved at Jeffi. "Hello, Jeffi." He half waved back.

"Wait..." Setsuka put her arm up next to her head as her long ears twitched. Her arm was met with a kick. She smirked. "Nice try, Lori."

"Aw, damn it!" The little raven-haired girl kicked the dirt.

"Lori!"

"Oops, sorry, mother," Lori said unenthusiastically. She looked over at Jeffi and smiled evilly. "Hya!" She landed a kick on his shoulder and the two started to spar.

"Hey! Save it for the road!"

"Yes, Sensei!" The children saluted her.

"That's more like it. Now, let's move," the silver-haired kunoichi started marching off, the children following her. "See ya, Kurenai."

"Bye..." she sighed as the three jumped up and disappeared.

At Gaara and Hinata's house, a boy with red spiky hair and a scaly tail like a lizard's looked at the address on the side of the building. "I hope this is it. I'm so excited!" he said enthusiastically. He reached up and knocked on the wooden door. Neji eventually opened it. He looked around before seeing the child.

"What dya want, kid?" He was still in his boxers.

"Um..." He blushed. "Are... are you Neji Hyuuga?"

"Yeah, who wants to know?" He narrowed his white eyes.

"Oh, thank Hades I came to the right place first thing..."

"What? Look, I got things to do," Neji was about to shut the door, but the red-headed kid stopped him.

"Please, let me in," he said.

"No way! Get outta here, ya stray."

"But I'm your son!"

"Huh? Wha-what?"

"My mother has told me so much-"

Temari ran in the living room holding something in her hand. "Neji! Neji, guess what? The stick, it finally turned red! We're having a baby!"

"Oh... man...." Neji fell right over, out cold.

They both looked down at him, blank expressions on their faces. Then Temari glared at the kid. "What didja do to him?" she shouted

"Nothing, what did you do to him?" he replied.

"Well, somebody did something to someone."

"...Wha'?"

Outside, Gaara and Hinata are half way to Sasuke's house. Konoha seems like a ghost town. They're the only ones around for miles. "Where is everybody anyway?" Hinata asked after a few minuets.

Gaara's stomach growled loudly. "Probably having dinner..." he sighed.

"We're almost there, Gaara."

"Can't I have just one granola bar? Please?" Gaara pleaded.

"No, it would ruin your appetite."

"But I haven't had anything since breakfast..."

"Whose fault is that?"

"...Jeffi's for not waking me up."

"Oh, shut up!"

Elsewhere, Setsuka, Lori and Jeffi are marching through a forest, practicing hand signs. "And, what's this?"

"Tiger!" Lori shouted.

"Sheep!" Jeffi shouted.

"No, it's obviously Tiger, _JefFI_!" Lori glared at him, putting her hands on her hips.

"Actually, it's Sheep, _LoRI_!" Jeffi shouted back. He stuck out his tongue.

"It's Tiger!"

"Sheep!"

"Tiger!"

"Sheep!"

"TIGER!!!"

"SHEEP!!!"

"Actually guys," Setsuka interrupted their highly intelligent argument. "It's Serpent."

"DAMN IT!!!" both children cursed.

"Ya shoulda studied," their Sensei said as she shook her head.

At last, Gaara and Hinata had arrived at Sasuke's house. "Finally! Let's eat!" Gaara knocked hard on the door until Hinata elbowed him in the gut. "Ow..."

Sasuke opened the wooden door. "Oh, hey Gaara, hey Hi-" Hinata shoved the box hard into his gut and stormed into the house. "Ow..."

"She's feeling very violent lately," Gaara whispered.

"Ah, I see. Well, come on in."

"Alright. Thanks for the invite, by the way."

"Oh, yeah, about that... Well, it was originally going to be me, Naruto, Sakura and Ino, but something came up."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Um... Let's just say Naruto likes to play Oprah every now and then."

"...What?"

"Never mind. It's about Hinata. That's all I'm allowed to say." And with that, he turned around and entered his house. Gaara just shrugged and followed. He was too hungry to care, anyhow.

....So, that's the first capter. It wasn't that funny or dramatic, but that's because it's the fist chapter. If enough people like it, I'll get a couple more chapters up. Oh, and if you feel left out on a few details or backgrounds, that's because you are. I'm currently working on three stories that reveal Gaara and Hinata's, Neji's, and Setsuka's backgrounds up 'til now. I'm pretty sure _this_ story does fine on it's own, though....


	3. An Unexpected Reunion

Chapter Two: An Unexpected Reunion

....Oookay, I meant to get this up for my whole two fans a while ago, but I kept either forgetting or being too lazy. I just hope you'll be my fans after this chapter, because I don't even like it that much. Well, my favorite part so far is in it, but I dunno. I just don't like the flow that much here. I own no one but the characters you've never heard of and the kids. I also don't own the Underworld, but I highly doubt I need a desclaimer for that. Oh, and the way demons are portrayed is about the same way as the ones in Inuyasha. Well, hope you like it, and thanks for reading it in the first place!....

"I... think I know how you're my son, what was your name again?" Neji asked. He was sitting on the couch with an icepack to his head, because he just developed a major headache. Wonder why...

"Fang," the child next to Neji said.

"Oh yes, Fang. Geez, why couldn't she have named him Nick or something normal?" Neji said under his breath.

"What was that, Father?"

"Nothing! Anyway... I thought it was a one-way ticket to the Underworld for Hexa, and-"

"Hey, hold up, mister!" Temari put a hand to Neji's mouth.

"What, Temari? I'm trying to have a conversation with my long-lost son here."

"Well, _I_ for one would like to know what's going on."

"Oh, just a second, Fang," he turned to face the Sand Ninja, "Temari, do you remember Hexa?"

"Oh yeah. Whatever happened to her?"

"Well... Uh, she got pregnant, and she was an Elemental Demon, right?"

"Oh, right. I remember Avila telling me about them."

"Yeah, Avila. Her family were the ones who sealed the demons away ages ago. But Hexa's father didn't get sealed, right?"

"Uh-huh, I'm followin' ya."

"He fell in love with an Elven woman and they had a child; Hexa."

"Oo, I like this story!"

"He died because there can only be one demon of any element on earth. The woman died because she couldn't handle giving birth to a demon."

"Oh, that's so...so sad..." Temari wiped a tear from her eye.

"Yeah... So it's sixteen years later and I knock her up, right?"

"You bastard!" Temari slapped him. "How could you!?"

"What? Hey, would you let me finish telling the, uh, story? Ow..."

"Ever heard of condoms!?"

"Look, what happened happened. If I could have changed, I'd-"

"I'm sitting right here!" Fang yelled.

"Sorry, Fung," Neji apologized.

"It's Fang. You know, like a tooth."

"I'm sorry! It's just kind of frustrating..."

"Ok, you can finish your story now, Neji-Kun."

"Finally!" Neji sat back on the couch, "So we told her friends, and Avila told us about the one-demon-only thing. She said that Hexa and the child could both live if Hexa left for the Underworld. Hexa really... didn't want to... leave... me..."

"Neji-Kun, are you crying?" Temari asked leaning closer to him.

"No, I'm not! Anyway, if Hexa entered the Underworld, there was no going back. So," He faced Fang, "That's why I'm wondering about you. How'd you get through?"

"Oh. I was born there, so it's a one-way ticket for me, too."

"So you came to Earth!? Why?"

"Beca-...because I wanted to see my father. Mother told me all about you, remember?"

"B-but, what if you found out I didn't love you?" Neji asked ominously.

"I wouldn't. Mother said that you'd love me no matter what."

"Damn, Hexa's good. So, how does she look? Still got the body of a sixteen-year-old?"

"Neji!" Temari slapped him again.

"Ow... Temaaaaaariiii..."

At the very interesting dinner party, Gaara was acting like a child and leaning back on his chair. "Gaara, stop it," Hinata said, "You're acting immature."

"I ain't acting, honey, this is the way I am," Gaara said as though he were proud.

"CoughBastardCough."

Gaara landed his chair. "I heard that," he said, pointing at his wife.

"Heard what?"

"...You sneaky bitch."

"You fat, lazy bastard."

"See!? See what I have to live with?"

Sasuke loudly cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him. "What?"

"Who brought the granola bars?" Sakura asked, holding up the bar. Ino started snickering loudly, and then they both burst out laughing. Gaara and Hinata blushed.

"They high or something?" Naruto asked, pointing his thumb at the cackling couple. "'Cos I think they should share whatever they're on."

"Sorry.'T's all at home," Ino said before chugging her glass of wine.

"Hey, Hinata..." Naruto said. He was attempting to be seductive, and failing. He faced her and batted his eyelids like a schoolgirl trying to impress her crush.

"Ugh, Naruto, you were my childhood crush. It meant nothing. A crush, that's all it was," Hinata explained as though she rehearsed.

"But, there must be _something_ left."

"No, Naruto, there isn't. Now if you'd excuse me," she stood up and began to walk away, "I need to use the bathroom."

"She don't know what she's missin'," Naruto said after she left.

"Um, _she_ is married to me, remember?" Gaara asked.

"...Yeah, so?"

"I think I have to go to the bathroom now," Gaara said, getting up to leave.

Ino watched him leave, then turned to Naruto and said, "Just for the record, he used to have a crush on me."

"Ahh... I see."

Gaara walked past the kitchen and heard someone whisper, "Aha, I knew they had some booze around here."

"What? Hinata, what're you doing?" He walked into the kitchen and caught her chugging a bottle of beer. "Hinata!"

"What? Hey, that retard keeps trying to flirt with me, even though his boyfriend is sitting right across from him. And my own husband isn't even sticking up for me." She took another swig from the bottle. Gaara snatched it from her.

"Hinata, you are pregnant!" he whispered harshly. He then chugged the rest of the bottle's contents.

"Gaara!" She grabbed the bottle and they started fighting over it, even though it was empty.

Sakura walked in and watched. "Huh, interesting..."

"AHH!" Hinata and Gaara shouted at the same time, then covered each other's mouths.

"Right, I'm just... Yeeaahh, I'm just gonna go back to the dining room now." And with that, she turned around and walked out.

Gaara pried Hinata's hand off his mouth before saying, "Ya think she'll tell Sasuke?"

"You think I care?" Hinata asked, walking into the dining room.

"He's not your best friend, he's mine. So you shouldn't care." He followed her.

On the road, Jeffi got tired, so Setsuka carried him on her back. It was really boring, maybe more boring than the dinner party. Jeffi even fell asleep! Lori kicked at a pebble until it fell in the ditch, then she looked up at Setsuka. "Setsuka-Sensei?" All she got in return were snores. "Setsuka-Sensei!"

"Ah, huh, wha'?" She looked around. "We there yet?"

"No. How can you fall asleep while walking?"

"I dunno."

"Anyway... Setsuka-Sensei-"

"You said that a million times. Just drop the Sensei, alright?"

"Oh, ok. Setsuka-Sen- uh, I mean Setsuka, why did you want to teach me and Jeffi anyway? I mean, we're not even technically ninja!"

"Oh... Well, I guess I wanted my father to acknowledge my talents and abilities, so I decided to teach would-be ninjas, AKA, you and Jeffi."

"Has he acknowledged you?"

Setsuka looked to the ground but stayed silent.

"Setsuka-Sensei?"

"No. No he hasn't," Setsuka said, looking up at the sunset. "The only thing he seems to give a damn about is _Shizune_," she said mockingly while sticking her tongue out.

"Oh. Shizune..."

"Yeah, ever since I became a part of his life- no, scratch that, I've NEVER been a part of his life! Sure, he met me, and I met him, but that's about it. I don't even think I've talked to him, let alone seen him, in months. Kurenai's always saying that I'm soooo much like him. But, really, I'm not. The only thing we have in common is my mother. Even with that, he only knew her for a couple months, and she wasn't even mad at him for leaving her three weeks pregnant! 'He was meant for greater things,' she always said. But what about me? She never said _I_ was meant for anything great. The only thing I have to remember her by is an Elemental Demon and a sword. Yeah, my own mother sealed a demon inside me. She said it was to save my life, but you know what I really think? I think that she just didn't want to be the one to blame for a dead Elemental Demon, that's what I think!"

"Th-that didn't surface any bottled-up emotions, did it?" Lori asked sarcastically.

"Daddy didn't love me!" Setsuka burst into hysteric tears. Lori patted her shoulder and told her that it'll be OK.

"So... What's it like in the Underworld?" Neji asked, trying to make casual conversation with Fang.

"It's nice. Pretty dark, though," Fang said, looking around the room, "I got to shake hands with Hades once!"

"That's-uh-nice. That's very nice."

"Is he the equivalent of the president, or something?" Temari asked.

"The president?" Fang asked, tilting his head to the side.

"The, um, ruthless ruler of our country," Neji explained.

"Yeah, but Hades isn't ruthless. He's very kind, especially to demons," Fang said, twiddling his clawed thumbs.

"Our president isn't kind, though," Temari said, rolling her eyes.

"Who's hungry? Let's order some pizza!" Neji said. He then picked up the phone and began to dial the pizza place number.

"I'm a vegetarian," Fang said, "I like cheese."

"-so then I said, 'get a job you damn hobo!'" Naruto laughed. Everyone else just stared at him. It wasn't a funny story/joke at all.

"That's..." Hinata began.

"Hilarious?" Naruto asked, puffing out his chest. "I know. I'm just that great a story teller."

"That's terrible! You kicked sand at a poor person and told them to 'get a job you damn hobo?'"

"Yes, that's just the kind of person _you_ had a childhood crush on."

"Ugh, Naruto! I told you that meant nothing! I'm married now! I could care less what you do with yourself."

"Oh, that's cold, man," Ino said, chewing slowly through her granola bar. The phone rang and Naruto winked at Hinata before going and answering it in Sasuke's office. Hinata grabbed Naruto's wine, but Gaara gave her a look, so she put it back.

"Hello?" Naruto said, slowly closing the door so the others couldn't hear. "Yeah, we're ready... Yep, she's sitting right next to me... Of course we have food, it's a dinner party! Sure you can bring her too... I'll give you some advice; don't piss her off. She already seems to be on edge... Yep, hormones too, the whole shananzaa...No, I don't know what a shananzaa is... Can I go eat now?... Ok, see ya in ten minuets," He hung up and walked back out to the dining room.

"Was it that guy who wanted to do the thing at that place with that person and that thing?" Sasuke asked.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, Sasuke kicked him hard in the shin. "Ooo... Ecsh... Ow... Uh... Yes, it was."

"Ok!" Sasuke said as he started to rub his hands together, "Let's play the father game!"

"I'm already stuck with that gig," Gaara said before finishing off his wine.

"No. It's when we take turns telling everybody something about our fathers. Naruto, you go first."

"Alright. Ahem! My father sealed a demon inside me, thus saving the village of Konohagakure!" Naruto said, a smile plastered on his face.

"Good. See Gaara? It's easy."

"I don't like the sound of this game," Gaara mumbled to himself.

"It's, like, my turn," Ino said. Sasuke nodded. "Ok, well, my father owns a flower shop, and-"

"Ok, Sakura, your turn!" Naruto said, rudely interrupting Ino.

"Oh... Well... My dad married my mom, and they got funky, and they had me."

"Ok, that's beautiful. Gaara, you go," Naruto said, sounding excited for some reason.

"Oh, alright. Ok, ya ready?" Gaara asked. Naruto and Sasuke nodded. "He's a selfish bastard who totally hated me. He-"

"Ok, my turn," Sasuke said.

"Hey! I wasn't done yet!" Gaara yelled while beating his fist on the table.

"Too bad," Naruto said. After Gaara glared at him, he hid behind Hinata.

Sasuke cleared his throat, and everyone looked at him again. "Heh, that works," he said, "My father was an Uchiha. He had the Sharingan, and it was really cool, and he died, and yeah... Hinata, your turn!"

"I hate this game. What fucking idiot thought this up?" Hinata said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Please, Hinata. You only have to talk for about," Naruto looked at the clock on the wall, "two minuets."

Hinata growled before saying, "My father's almost as much of a bastard as Gaara's. He didn't want me to have Gaara's child, and when I told him we were getting married, he kicked me out. All he gave me were the clothes on my back. He said my sister, Hanabi, would be a better choice of heiress than some slut who couldn't control her life. He even had to add that I was weak and had a flat chest... I mean, he's my father, he's supposed to love me..." Gaara was already on the other side of the table and hugging Hinata from behind.

"You moron! What were you thinking!?" Gaara whispered, glaring at Sasuke. "Those were such lies... In no way, shape, or form do you have a flat chest," he whispered in Hinata's ear. She sweat dropped.

There was a knock at the door. "We've got a surprise for you!" Naruto said enthusiastically. He jumped up and opened the unlocked door. "Hello, Hia-huh?"

"Did someone order an Extreme Cheese Pizza from Konoha's Generic Pizza Place?" a teenaged pizza guy asked while looking around the room.

Naruto tilted his head. "Konohamaru? Is that you?"

"Um, yeah, dude."

"Oh. Well, we didn't order anything..."

"Oh, see ya , then." He turned around and walked down the street.

"Uh-huh..." He closed the door and turned around to see Hinata glaring at him with teary eyes. "Eep!" Then there was another knock at the door. "I'll get it!" Naruto opened the door again to reveal, _DUN DUN DUUUUUN_, Hiashi and Hanabi Hyuuga!

"You fucking bastard!" Hinata stood up and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. "What the Hell do you want!?"

"Surprise!" Naruto and Sasuke said in unison.

"You," Gaara pointed at them before walking over and beginning to pound on them.

"Hey, sis," Hanabi waved. She was dressed all in black from head to toe. Emo much? "Haven't seen you in a while."

(AN: Fave Part!)Hinata looked at her younger sister. "Yeah, six years," she said, still enraged. "Is that eyeliner? You look like a raccoon."

"Thanks. Hey, are those granola bars?" She took Hinata's spot at the table and started eating granola bars. (Lol, granola bars...)

"Hinata..." Hiashi said. He took a step forward.

"Don't you dare take another step. You've been out of my life for six years. I'm over you."

"That's not what you were saying a couple minuets ago," Ino said.

"What?" Hinata and her father said.

"Yeah," Sakura piped up, "You were crying and you said that a father should love his child, and-"

"Sakura, shut up..." Hinata growled while turning red.

"So, you're not completely _over me_," Hiashi said. He crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow, "You haven't been known to lie, Hinata."

"Don't say my name!"

"Hinata."

"Shut up!"

"Hinata, Hinata, Hinata."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"Hi-"

"What do you want from me _now_, anyway? It's been six years since you-"

"Since I kicked you out of Hyuuga mansion, I know."

"That's not the whole... thing! You crushed me. You made me feel this big." She held up a chocolate chip from a granola bar. "Only smaller." She threw it away. "So, what do you want?" she asked harshly.

"It was a mistake to make you un-heiress-y and to kick you out and to make you feel chocolaty."

"You don't respect me, you don't respect Gaara, and you don't respect Jeffi!"

"Jeffi? You mean-"

"Yes. And I don't want you in his life."

"No, I mean, you actually named your first child Jeffi? You came up with that when you were seven!"

"He looked like a Jeffi. So we called him Jeffi," Hinata said through gritted teeth, blushing furiously.

"Yeah, the name you came up with when you were seven!"

"I don't need this. I don't need you judging my son's name, or whatever else you had planned!" She stalked over to Gaara, who's still beating up Naruto and Sasuke, but mostly Naruto, because he just doesn't like him. "Gaara! We're leaving!"

Gaara looked up. He was holding Naruto by the hair of his head. "What? But... But..."

She sighed in frustration, "One more punch."

"Yes!" He landed one in his nose before dropping him. "Ok." Hinata walked out without even taking a second glance at Hiashi or Hanabi. Gaara flipped Hiashi the bird before slamming the door shut.

"Well, didn't that turn out perfectly?" Hiashi asked sarcastically, looking at the beat-up Naruto and Sasuke, his daughter pigging out on granola bars, and the making out lesbians.

"I can't believe he expected me to just forgive him like that. I mean, that's like your parents coming back from the dead and saying, 'forgive us, for we have sinned.'" Hinata mumbled, searching through her keys.

"Uh-huh..."

In the background, two white figures cursed, "Damn!" before fading away.

"Did you hear that?" Gaara asked. He looked around.

"Nope. Not a thing. Aha!" She held up the right key, then opened the door.

"-then he says, 'Why me? I'm only the puppeteer!' Then me and Gaara point and laugh at him, like we usually do," Temari said pouring some tea in a cup.

"You guys are pretty mean to Kankuro, don't you think?" Fang asked, drinking some tea of his own.

"What's with the tailed kid?" Hinata asked. She nudged Fang's tail with a toe, he hit her in the shin with it. "Brat."

"Uh, long story short, he's my son," Neji replied. He put a sugar cube in his cup.

"Neji, tell them the news," Temari said excitedly.

"News?" Gaara looked from Neji, to Temari, to Fang, "You're actually from England?"

"No... Temari and I are-"

"We're having a baby!" Temari ever so rudely interrupted him.

Hinata sighed. "Great, another mouth to feed..."

Gaara grabbed Temari's arm and dragged her to the nearest room where they could be alone and shut the door behind them. They were in the closet. "Hey, what's up? You got another new jacket to show me or something?" Temari asked. She yanked her arm away from him.

"Do you not remember that little _thing_ you had with Naruto?" Gaara whispered. He looked around and spotted the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. He pulled the chain and the little light came on. "Much better."

"What? You think that this is _Naruto's_ child?"

"What point do you _think_ I'm getting at?"

"Well, I _know_ that this is Neji's. I'm positive."

"I know, you just said that."

"Said what?"

"'I'm positive?' You know, like- Never mind." He turned off the light and exited the closet.

"Gaara finally comes outta the closet," Neji said. Fang laughed and they exchanged high fives.

"I'm going to bed," Gaara yawned. He kicked Neji in the shin before walking down the hall.

"Owch! Damn it! Not again!"

"Good night Temari, Neji, and Neji's kid," Hinata said.

"It's Fang, like a tooth," he explained.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Wake up, Jeffi. Jeffi? Jeffi. Jeffi!" Lori hit him in the arm. They were in a great field of wheat.

"Ow. Hey! Whadya-"

"We're here."

"Huh? Where's Setsuka-Sensei?"

"Over there," the girl pointed behind her with a thumb.

"Oh. Setsuka's mother was buried in a wheat field?"

"Yeah. Setsuka buried her and her grandparents herself."

"Why here?"

"'Cos, she couldn't bury them in the village. Remember?"

"...No."

"They weren't supposed to be there! Bein' ninja and all."

"Oh, I remember... Why?"

"Why what?" Lori asked, getting irritated.

"Why couldn't ninja be in Ginopho Village?"

"It's called 'Giniro Village.' And ninjas weren't allowed there 'cos they were attacked by some because convict ones were hiding out there."

"Oh... How do you know?"

"Setsuka told _both of us_, remember?"

"Well, obviously not!"

"Ugh..." She stomped on his foot. "Moron."

"Ow! Hey! What the Hell was that for!?" Setsuka popped up out of the wheat and surprised them both.

"Ahh!" they screamed. Jeffi jumped up and was in Lori's arms, like Scooby and Shaggy.

"O... K..." Setsuka sweat dropped. The kids looked at each other before Lori dropped Jeffi and started blushing.

"S-so, where are the graves?" Lori asked. She peeked around Setsuka and saw nothing. Wait, is that-...wheat... and lots of it.

"Can't find them," the demon host said unenthusiastically. She plopped down and sat cross-legged, the wheat concealing her again.

"Waddya mean you can't find 'em?" Jeffi asked. He sat down in front of her. Setsuka placed her elbows on her knees and rested her head in her cupped hands. "Lori said _you_ buried them."

"I did." Her ears drooped now. "But that was, oh let's see here... ten years ago. And I haven't been here since then..." A single tear escaped her eye, but she wiped it away before her students saw. But Lori did.

"We'll help you find those graves! Won't we, Jeffi?" She smacked her friend in the back of the head.

"Ow! But Lori..."

"Thanks for the offer guys, but you should be getting to bed. It's waaaay past your bedtime."

"Aww..." Jeffi said.

"You sound like my mother," Lori said as she rolled her eyes.

"She's the one who wanted you guys to bed at about-"

"And where exactly _is_ bed?" Lori asked. She motioned toward the field they were sitting in.

"Well, if I were the one making the decisions, in this field."

"You're _not_ making the decisions?" Lori cocked an eyebrow.

"No. Your mom wanted me to make you guys sleep in a bed."

"Ok. Back to my question: Where the heck is bed!?"

"We're crashing in the village." The children's jaws literally hit the floor.

"What?" they asked in unison. "I thought that ninja thing-" Lori began.

"They're gonna chase after us with pitchforks and shovel handles!" Jeffi shouted as he began to run around in panicked circles. "Noooooooo!!!!"

Sestuka sighed and stuck her foot out in front of him. He fell flat on his face. "Of course not. They've got a new mayor. They've had him for some time now, and he doesn't care about ninjas. He actually sends applications for missions to Konoha."

"Are we on a mission now?" Lori asked.

"Don't get your hopes up. This is just a training trip, and you two aren't even Genin yet."

"Oh, right." Lori smirked. "_Not yet_, anyways."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, c'mon, let's go." And with that she stood and began walking toward the place she dreaded most, the place she was born and raised, the place that ruined her life.

....So, thus ends chapter two. Next chapter: An Unexpected Revelation!....


End file.
